out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
