This girl is more easily done than said...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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