Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
