Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
