well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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