My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
