Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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