i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
