i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
time to smoke my breakfast
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
