My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
