I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
