Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
