Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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