Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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