My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize