Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
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