I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
