Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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