I think i peed on brittanys purse
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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