Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
