I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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