I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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