im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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