Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Be still, my beating vagina.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
