in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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