either way he was missing a nipple.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
