I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
