i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
