u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Every concussion has its silver lining
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
