I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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