Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
