I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
