I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
