physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
