Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Randomize
