I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
