so explain again why im purple
no
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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