Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
