listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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