I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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