So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
