he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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