i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
