I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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