He had one of those small greek statue penises
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
