i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
