Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
