whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
