so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
