You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
