He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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