take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
