That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
