I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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