It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
